Just let me hold your hand
by lullys
Summary: Dean and Sam have a car accident while John's missing, and Sam's unconscious in the ICU. Dean feels guilty, and stays by his brother's side all night. One-shot set during S1.


Was it already time to wake up?

But it was like he hadn't rested at all. Dean couldn't open his eyes.

And then, it started to hurt. He didn't know exactly what was hurting. And he still couldn't open his eyes.

He tried to move, and it hurt even more. God, it was like his whole body was hurting, it felt like he had an accident…

Wait.

He was driving the Impala. Sam was shotgun, as usual. Then, he increased the volume of the radio, the music was not loud enough. Sam rolled his eyes… and then what happened? It was dark. But wait a minute… was that a truck? Yeah, he remembered now… a huge truck was coming towards them… But then…

"SAMMY!"

Dean didn't even know if his voice came out at all, he forced himself to open his eyes, he had to know if his baby brother was alright… it was hard, his eyes were so heavy, the light hurt, but he finally got them opened. He was still in the Impala, and he used all his strength to turn his body and look at Sam. And he almost passed out again with what he saw.

The right side of the Impala was destroyed, the front of the truck was still smashed against the passenger door, and Sammy… oh God, Sammy' eyes were closed, there was a large cut on his forehead and there was blood… a lot of blood. He wasn't, he couldn't be… he reached his hand and touched Sam's neck. He could feel a light pulse there, and he felt a little relieved.

"Sammy? SAMMY? Can you hear me?"

There was nothing.

"Don't worry Sammy, I'll get you out of here and you'll be fine."

He heard a knock on the window, a paramedic was trying to talk to him, and opened his door.

"Are you hurt? We need to get you out of here!"

"NO! Get him first, he's hurt, you need to take care of him first!"

"Sir, we need to get you out of the car to get to him, the other side is blocked by the truck!"

That actually made sense, so Dean allowed the paramedic to help him out of the car, but he refused to go to the ambulance for them to check on him, he couldn't leave Sammy, he wanted to be there until they took his brother out of the car.

When they finally did it, they put him on a stretcher and placed an oxygen mask on his face. Dean held his hand all the way to the ambulance, and when they put Sam inside it, he sat right by his side. Nobody in this world would dare to say he couldn't ride in there. He wouldn't leave his brother's side.

During the whole ride to the hospital, Dean held Sam's hand, and locked his eyes on Sammy's face. Tears were rolling down his face.

"It's okay Sammy, you'll be okay." He kept saying that mostly to himself until they got to the hospital.

They took Sam to the E.R., and wouldn't allow Dean to go along, of course. Instead, a nurse came to take him to get checked up, to make sure he didn't have any injuries. At first he didn't wanna go, he wanted to stay and wait for Sammy, but the nurse almost dragged him, stating that they had to make sure he didn't have any internal injuries. He gave in, and when they said he was fine, he hurried back to the waiting room.

And he waited. And waited.

He considered calling John and leaving him a message, telling him what had happened. But he decided he wouldn't tell anything, he'd just wait and see what would happen to Sammy.

So, he waited more, and more. It seemed ages.

He felt someone gently shaking his shoulder. Damn it, he had fallen asleep.

"Are you Sam Winchester's relative?"

He got up.

"Yeah, I'm his brother Dean. How is he doctor? He'll be fine, right?"

He took a deep breath.

"Well Dean, some of Sam's injuries were pretty bad, he needed a surgery and some blood transfusions, since he had lost a lot of blood due to the cut in his forehead and also an internal bleeding. He had a head trauma and some internal injuries, including 3 broken ribs."

Dean had to work really hard not to grab the doctor's arms.

"Doctor, all I want to know is if my brother is going to be alright."

"Dean, his condition is delicate, but we got him stabilized. The surgery went well, but our main concern now is the head trauma. But we have good reasons to believe he'll be alright. He's unconscious, and all we can do now is watch him and wait for him to wake up. There's not much else we can do right now, I'm sorry."

Dean could barely breathe.

"Can I… stay with him tonight?"

"It was better if you get some rest. I heard you were in the car too, and you've been here for a long time… you should go home, get some sleep and come back tomorrow, there won't probably be any changes during the night…"

Yeah, that doctor really didn't know Dean and his relationship with his brother.

"No. I won't be going anywhere Doc, I'm sorry. Not until my brother is okay. He's hurt and he needs me, and even though he's unconscious, he'll know I'm here by his side. I'll stay with him until he wakes up and I don't care how long it takes. I'm not leaving my baby brother alone."

* * *

He entered the ICU and saw his brother lying on the bed, hooked up to some monitors and wires, there was a large patch on his forehead and a tube coming out if his mouth, and he showed absolutely no signs of consciousness.

Dean's eyes were immediately filled with tears, seeing his brother like that was the worst thing he could possibly imagine. He had to make it out of this okay, he just _had to._

He took Sam's hand in his, and held it. He just stared at his baby brother for a long time, he couldn't even tell how long.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. It's my fault, it's all my fault. I should have been paying attention, I was careless, it was my fault, I didn't see the truck, I should've seen it, I'm so sorry…"

The tears were now running down his face, he wasn't even trying to hold them anymore.

"It has always been my job to protect you, to look out for you. Dad never really had to tell me that, I always knew. It wasn't even my job, it's actually who I am. It's part of me to watch out for you Sammy, and I failed. I had only one job, and I screwed up. I'm so sorry for that."

He held Sammy's hand even thighter.

"You have to wake up, Sammy, you can't do this to me. You need to be strong, you need to hang in there, I need you… I need you by my side Sammy, I need my baby brother next to me, what am I supposed to do without you? Dad's barely around, you are my true family. I know you're strong, so you have to be strong now, Sam… what am I supposed to do without my pain-in-the-ass little brother, huh?"

"Sammy, please."

He just stayed there, for hours, not daring to let go of Sam's hand, not even for a second. Sammy had to know his brother was there with him, that everything was going to be okay. Dean didn't even know how long he stayed there. He didn't take his eyes off his brother's face not even once. Maybe he was there for hours, maybe it was days. The only thing he could hear was the beeping of the monitor, letting him know his brother was still there.

And he waited. And waited more. It seemed ages.

And then, Dean felt Sammy's hand move. It was barely noticeable, but he moved his hand, he knew he had felt it. He came closer to his brother's face.

"Sammy, can you hear me?"

His hand moved again.

"Sammy, it's me, it's Dean, I'm right here, can you hear me?"

He saw Sam's eyes move under his eyelids.

"Sammy, please, I'm here with you, can you open your eyes for me?"

There were so many tears rolling down his face, it was hard for him to talk.

And then finally, Sam managed to open his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while.

"Sammy?"

Sam looked at him, he couldn't talk because he was intubated, but Dean could swear he saw a smile on his face. And he didn't really need to say anything, his eyes spoke for him…

"Dean?"

Dean's smile was the size of the world. Still holding Sam's hand with his, he ran the other hand through his hair.

"Welcome back, Sammy."

* * *

_Guys, this is my first Supernatural fic, I'd LOVE to know what you guys think, if you'd review, it'd be awesome._

_This fic was inspired by a Tumblr post, I'll put the link on my profile._

_thanks for reading it!_

_update: some people asked me to continue this story, but I have no idea how to do it, it had to be more than just Sam getting out of the hospital... if anyone has any ideas, please let me now, and if I use them, I'll give you credit! thanks!_

_update 2: I started my new SPN fic, that will be a long one, it's called "My thoughts will echo your name", it's an AU with Sam/Jess, you can find the link on my profile._


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